Closure?!

this one word got me into my first big phadda with the boss! although it didnt develop into anything serious it was yet another reminder of how badly my life needs direction. im thinking whether i should reconsider my plans to leave March 30.

eid was uneventful as usual. met up with some cousins after quite some time...that was fun! anyway, i now realize that i have been played. people have been extremely selfish and yes, I have been stabbed in the back. i have given more than my share in maintaining my friendships but i wonder if anything has been reciprocated. and strangely enough i dont find myself in the forgiving-and-forgetting mood this time. i might have my priorities sorted but that is certainly not how i've been treated. lets see if settling a score is my style as well cos it sure as hell is an ancestral trait! there's a limit to how much a Langah can stand being taken for granted and its time to rethink stuff; my worldview before anything else. if i sacrifice my wants and feelings at the altar of friendship the least i deserve is some respect and gratitude. yup...closure is what is finally needed!

sooli chadhaee ludkand taan day
hadiyaan medeyaan kudkand taan day
be-dard chun be-wuss dee mun
kuttha jo haee phudkand taan day

The Evil Office...

the kindsa tricks this square box of an office can play on ur hapless mind is scary. i blame all my miseries of late 2004 on the occult atmosphere of this room. that and the general loneliness around campus. having food alone at the PDC for more than three nights in a row can be a killer i swear! LUMS in my current situation stands for Loneliness Under Meditated Suicide. anyway, March 20 is not that far off. uss ke baad i have no clue where im headed! hope to dear God Almighty Sargodha is fun and not a repeat of Faiselabad, although u can never really tell with these bloody Punjabis!

hehehe...really screwed my little fashionable cousin's mind over with the Arain/Baloch conspiracy. the irritant factor in my personality has gone up considerably i must say. also, ive realized that im not the moron i always made myself out to be. kaafi fit banda hoon mein with my 'priorities sorted'! to the casual reader these claims to newfound self-respect might seem highly superficial and somewhat arrogant but believe me, i came to this conclusion after wading through some serious shit. never before have all my faculties been tested so fully and mercilessly! now...im the Lizard King, i can do anything!

all melodrama and self-glorification aside, i have decided that my firstborn son will be named 'Balaach'. Balaach Haider Khan Langah...what a name, i say what a name! waah saeen waah, yaani keh what a name! anyway, came across this ruba'ee. dont know who it is by but it is absolutely amazing:

jab Hur ka gunnaah Shah-e-Ummam(A.S.) ne bakhsha
katre ko sharaf behr-e-karam ne bakhsha
gardoon se sada ayee ke ay Sibt-e-Nabi(PBUH)
bakhsha jisse tu ne usse humm ne bakhsha