Sargodha: before and after...

From the 13th of Moharram to the 6th of March, with a bad back, i was on a marathon trip to the rural areas of Tehsil Shahpur, District Sargodha, slaving away and loving every bit of it. First we mapped, then we surveyed. One gains a lot of self-respect when one discovers new reserves of stamina and realises that he is not as incompetent as he had thought himself to be. Anyhow, had the opportunity of seeing the former stronghold of Tiwana glory, Kalra: rotting, but beautiful in its decay. Spent hours of unnecessary meditation on the grave of Al-Haj General Sir Malik Umer Hayat Khan Tiwana (A-Z to the King Emperor). Aik khwahish reh gayee hai...to climb the minar of Kalra's masjid. We shall do that too someday inshAllah. In other villages, the local mob boss wouldnt let go off my hand, had to socialise with the biradri of one terrorist, and enjoyed sprawling in the lawns of a magnificent haveli, all topped off with a visit to Alipur Noon to personally witness the glaring contrast between Kalra and that amazing showcase of the Noon fortune. and the team was great...had too much fun in the evenings. on the downside though, came back with a new ugly craving but hoping to keep this one under control. on the whole, being called the backbone of the devolution project was one reward i wasn't expecting at all.

there has been a great silence since the return from Sargodha, something i remain unable to comprehend. old ghosts coming back to haunt me i guess. the trip opened a lot of old wounds and may have created a few new ones. but one thing is for sure; the only thing i sought to save is more or less lost too. and im sure its my fault...has to be; no other reason appeals to the mind. on the brighter side of life, when you see people who truly deserve each other come together there is nothing but happiness that you can feel. strangely though, even more happiness than those people themselves. but then i have been called the 'exhibitor of extreme emotions'! and i do need some happiness, a change-of-mood at least, these days.

anyway, came back with a greater appreciation of Ghalib, a deeper understanding if you will. and what was that he said:
'aah ko chahiye aik umr asar honay tak,
kaun jeeta hai teri zulf ke sar honay tak?'