Tuesday, March 15, 2011
the Ides of March III
the Ides of March I
Saturday, January 29, 2011
la'whore!
Friday, January 14, 2011
100: A Political Statement
The content of this post has been deleted by the author for purely non-political reasons. What was posted here before was a base attempt at currying favor with a vile and vulgar individual. The author retracts the previous statement in its entirety!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
nine years
suntey thhey woh aayein ge, suntey thhey sehr ho gi
kab jaan lahu ho gi, kab ashk gohar ho ga
kis din teri shunwa'i aye deeda e tar ho gi
kab mehke gi fasl e gul, kab behke ga maikhana
kab subh e sukhan ho gi, kab shaam e nazar ho gi
wa'ez hai na zahid hai, naaseh hai na qaatil hai
ab shehr mein yaaron ki kis tarh basar ho gi?
kab tak abhi raah dekhein aye qaamat e jana'na
kab hashr mo'ayeeyan hai tujh ko toh khabar ho gi
- faiz
two-second admissions
dard-ha daadi wa darmani hunooz.
aashkara seen-e am bashugaafti,
hamchunan dar seen-e pinhani hunooz.
ma za girya chun namak bagudakhtim,
tu bakhunda shukr afshani hunooz.
- Amir Khusrau
you left me lifeless, and yet, you are my life
pain you gave me aplenty, and yet, you are the only cure
shamelessly you pierced my chest and ripped out the heart
but within its darkest depths, you still somewhere hide
why should I cry if you grind salt into my wounds?
for such attention, my master, my king, I am forever grateful
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Birthday '10: Addendum
Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’
The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.
Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.
What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.
That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.
As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me
The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.
I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.
Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.
I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.
Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.
Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.
- Pablo Neruda
Birthday '10
What, then, is so special about a birthday? What makes us strut about the face of the earth on this particular day, expecting special treatment from everybody? Do we think that our existence is such a blessing upon all creation that everybody ought to bow down in thanks for it, and sing accolades to our greatness? Or, is it because our lives are so worthless that we leap at this 24-hour opportunity to actually dupe ourselves into thinking that we matter? Of course, parents make us feel as though we matter. But is it more about us or about celebrating their own success since we technically represent fruits of their labor? And friends and family, they just want to fulfill a social norm, wish you a ‘happy birthday and many more to come’ so as to continue having cordial relations with you. After all, getting along with people is what makes one move along in life. But, even in our limited social context, what about the ones we have hurt, the ones we have let down, the ones we have dropped by the wayside as our life-priorities shift and we evolve into newer, fuller human beings? The ones we have fooled with false words and promises, forced to accept our viewpoint as regards life, and conveniently discarded once they have been fully converted while we move on to bigger and greater things, without even a look back at what we may have done to them, without a strand of remorse for not taking responsibility for our own word or deed? Why should they be happy, or thankful? And even if they are, hopelessly devoted as some fools tend to be despite all repudiation, why should they behave and express it in a way that is only acceptable to us? Expecting them to would be a lot like a torturer of the Spanish Inquisition releasing his victims from the death-vices, iron maidens, crowns of barbed wire, swinging razor pendulums etc only to sing him a birthday cheer. After all, the torture is for their own benefit, their souls are being cleansed, their demons exorcized, their wayward and ‘self-destructive’ beliefs corrected. Throughout history, the oppressor has told the oppressed: ‘this is for your own good.’ Such is the way of things.
Anyway, before I get carried away, birthdays are not special if we ourselves insist on them being so. They are special if people we know, whose lives we have touched in one way or the other, feel it in their hearts that the incident of our birth is worthy of celebration. Dada Jaan does not even know the date of his birth, and yet, everyday, people quietly pray for his long life and health in solitude, and recognize his existence as essential for the continued well-being of not just the family, but of a large number of people outside of the haveli walls as well. Perhaps, that makes every day his birthday. Nano was born on March 1, 1928. But the fact that this family celebrates her life everyday even three generations down perhaps indicates that she has transcended the need to feel special for just one day of the year. These are two people who have taken responsibility for their lot in life, taken pains in the pursuit of its fulfillment, suffered for people, with people, and have had glory as their reward. In complete contrast is the much-cherished individualistic ‘I am the Alpha and the Omega’ creed of our times, where we are all so desperate to stand out, ‘notice me, notice me, I am different, I am special,’ that we all end up clawing at one another’s faces and being miserably the same. Special, in our case, can only be taken to mean retarded.
I turn 28 today, a day that coincides with the great ritualized slaughter that is a prized tenet of our glorious religion of peace. Leaves an impertinent idiot like me to question whether in the BC’s the G-Man was a groupie to Baal’s cult of blood and gore. Today I will gorge myself on mutton and not even think about what an abusive, leech-like, take-all-give-nothing relationship I have with life. And for all that I have got to show for my 28 years, I might as well have been 82 today, a dying geriatric in an old-home with savings multiplying by themselves in some bank account or a fluid-sustained vegetable in a hospital bed, or just plain dead, and it wouldn’t have mattered one bit.
Friday, September 10, 2010
N-bombing the netherworld!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
where pessimism is not just masochistic self-indulgence!
dildar mittha
tu chhor veysein
wal wal quran te hath na rakh
na qasman cha
tu chhor veysein
kujh soch samijh te faisla ker
na josh dikha
tu chhor veysein
ker shakir ku barbaad sajanr
bas loag khila
tu chhor veysein
- Shakir Shujabadi
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
fana o baqa
chup chaap rahey dekhte tumhari janab mein
ghairon pe nazr e kar'm rahi lutf e shabab mein
safaid o syah ki bheer mein utthi yeh ik sada
koi toh ho jo rung bharey dil ki kitab mein
gar zindagi k taar ulajh jayein bhi toh kya
likh do tamam uljhanein meray hisaab mein
aayeenay ka aks fareb o makar na ho
kabhi rung apna dekh aks e sharaab mein
keh ker k haal e dil woh muntazir rahey
k hum bhi kahein unhi ka qaseeda jawab mein
Ghalib ki pairvi mein hoon shaida e yaar e dost
mashghool e haq hoon bandagi e Bu Turab mein
Monday, January 04, 2010
eight years
hua phir se hukm saadir
keh watan-badar hon hum tum
deyn gali gali sadayein
karein rukh nagar nagar ka
keh suragh koi payein
kisi yaar e nama-ber ka
herr ik ajnabi se poochein
jo pata thha apney ghar ka
sir e koo e nashanayan,
hamein din se raat karna
kabhi iss se baat karna
kabhi uss se baat karna
tumhein kya kahoon keh kya hai
shab e gham buri bala hai
hamein yeh bhi thha ghaneemat
jo koi shumaar hota,
hamein kya bura thha marna
agar aik baar hota?!
- faiz
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Birthday '09
And figs grew upon thorn,
Some moment when the moon was blood
Then surely I was born.
With monstrous head and sickening cry
And ears like errant wings,
The devil's walking parody
On all four-footed things.
The tattered outlaw of the earth,
Of ancient crooked will;
Starve, scourge, deride me: I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.
Fools! For I also had my hour;
One far fierce hour and sweet:
There was a shout about my ears,
And palms before my feet.
- The Donkey by G.K. Chesterton
Monday, November 16, 2009
You!
my life’s breath, o friend of my heart
if I know
the weariness of your heart
the sadness of your eyes
the desolate burning in your bosom
words of tender love
may erase
if my words of solace be the salve with which
your ravished soul, your withered mind
comes alive
your forehead is cleansed
of all marks of shame
your diseased youth
is forever cured
only if I know,
my soul’s whisper, o friend of my heart
night and day,
dawn to dusk,
I’ll balm your wounds
serenade your soul
with song, soft and sweet
songs of waterfalls
and spring
and lush meadows across a stream
songs of the light of dawn
and the moon
and far off stars, as if in a dream
and I’ll sing you tales of beauty and love
of how the icy bodies of unfeeling nymphs
tremble
stir
melt
at the caress of a warm hand
of how the unchanging look of a face familiar
changes beyond all knowing
in the flash of an eye
and the crystal glass of the lover’s cheek
rushes to burn up with a wine
a magical red rye
and how to the reaper of all its worth
the rosebush gaily does itself present
filling the night-chamber with a blissful scent
so, I’ll sing songs
just for you
sit by you,
create verse and song,
just for you
but my song, ‘tis not the cure you seek
may it be a soothing strain
soul penetrating it can not be
may it be a restful balm
a lance to your woes it can not be
your cure is naught
but a bayonet sharp,
a lance unto your woes
and its wielder
its whimsical, unflinching, merciless wielder
is not mine to own
nor anybody else’s among creation,
but yours
only yours
and yours alone.
- An attempt at translating Faiz's 'Meray Hamdam, Meray Dost'
Thursday, September 17, 2009
the way I wrote it
The letter speaks of a Punjabi motherland, its historical significance, and the threat posed to it by the creation of a Seraiki province. The foundation of this so-called Punjabi motherland commenced at the sword of Maharaja Ranjit Singh in 1818 when he captured the Muslim state of Multan, which had always been an independent province in all the Muslim empires of the subcontinent, and had encompassed the entire Seraiki region. In fact, Multan was a state more ancient than Lahore testimony to which are the words of Data Ganj Bakhsh. When this saint set up his abode in the current precincts of Lahore, he wrote ‘we dwell in the outskirts of Multan.’ After the Sikh era, the British gave shape to this motherland with their conquests of 1848, and afterwards with the partition of India in 1947. Finally, the Punjab gained its final shape with the forced annexation of the Bahawalpur state in the mid-1950’s. These 200 years do not even take a candle to the glorious history of the Seraiki area all the way from the Indus Valley Civilization, and, therefore, cannot buttress claims as to the current province of Punjab being the Punjabi motherland. What history does show, however, is that the Seraiki regions have been deprived of the right to determine their own destiny since 1818.
Geographically, the Seraiki region is the valley of the Upper Indus and comprises all of southwestern Punjab from Rahim Yaar Khan in the south to Khushab and Mianwali in the North, and the D.I. Khan, Bannu and Tank districts of the NWFP. It is, in fact, what connects the Punjabi speaking Central Punjab to the rest of the provinces. It is also one of the most neglected and under-developed regions in the country. Pakistan, for most of its existence, has suffered a misfortune not unusual for ex-colonies: direct and indirect rule by a nexus of the civil and military establishments, rather than by democratic forces. And the amount of sanctioned representation of the Punjab in the civil and military services is no secret to anyone. Within the province, though, the dynamics are more complex. The Northern and Central parts of the province have had a greater trend towards western education from colonial times, an important contributing factor towards which was the famed loyalty of the Punjabi elite towards the British. Thus, certain regions of the province got a lot more than their fair share of representation in the federal and provincial bureaucracies, and the armed forces, and the fruits of development and official favor were distributed accordingly, further compounded by the unabashed exercise of nepotism and favoritism, as was demanded by the complex code of biradri and socio-religious linkages, and other such sociological compulsions. The letter in question is correct in saying that the creation of a Seraiki province would take away from the population and the area of the Punjab. What it fails to mention, and which is a great apprehension among the establishment, is that a new province would also take away the opportunities of one region or one set of the population, to capitalize upon the ignorance and backwardness of the other.
Feudalism is blamed for the woes of the Seraiki people. One must concede that decadent, myopic and ultra-conservative feudal mindsets that persist are a great hindrance to progress. But look closely and you will see that the back of feudalism is effectively broken in the Seraiki belt. Barring a few notable exceptions, through generations of inheritance, and at least one successful round of land reforms in the first military era, landholding has dwindled to an average of 250-500 acres for the biggest landlords. This is peanuts by any feudal standard, and even though they may retain the airs of their ancestors, even the greatest feudals these days are nothing but large-scale farmers. Landlessness is almost unheard of in these times. Going forth, the feudal is as much tied to the land as a peasant who owns 1 acre of land. They both bear the vagaries of the climate, the whims of nature and the unpredictable convulsions of the market. This strengthens the centuries-old familiarity, and the affinity that is borne out if it, that exists between them as denizens of the same village, and partners in language and culture. There is a reason why the much-maligned jirga system refuses to go extinct even in times as these where no one man has lordship over many others as in the old feudal days. The poor people of the Seraiki belt still trust the village Zamindar or Sardar to dispense greater and cheaper justice to them than the police stationed in the nearby town. For the latter in common perception, far away as they are from their homes mostly in Central Punjab, will only make justice serve those who can line their pockets better. Such exploitation is a daily affair in the police stations of rural southwestern Punjab. Furthermore, when the industrialists, mill-owners and businessmen band together to skew the market in their favor, both the feudal and the peasant down south feel cheated out of the fruits of their agricultural produce, and the bond is strengthened. There is little wonder then that the same people get elected over and over again. To understand why they often fail to deliver then requires a more systemic analysis of the method of executive government in Pakistan. One proposed solution is to have a new province so that the elected representatives would stay closer to home, and thus, be more accountable to their constituencies, rather than merely using the masses’ vote as a means towards plush, elitist living in Lahore. One cannot deny the ancestral roots landowners have among the people. One can wager, though, as to whether this system is actually more evil than the ascendancy of fluid capital and the whimsical free market in the Central Punjab over the past 30 years, the sociopolitical and socioeconomic fallout of which is yet to be witnessed by history.
The letter in question alludes to the debacle of 1971 in arguing that the Pakistani federation is inept at handling provinces, and therefore, new provinces should be avoided. It is less a question of a geographical existence of a province than one of the very real suppression of rights. The Bengalis felt cheated out of their rightful political and cultural share in Pakistan especially given that they were the majority province in terms of population. And the ‘federation’ failed to address, much less redress, their grievances. It is a global fact that it is not the recognition and promotion of ethno-linguistic and sociocultural groups that leads to strife but the suppression of them. Rwanda and Pakistan in 1971 are actually examples that favor this fact. But if the author of the letter feels that such cultural and ethnic distinctions need to be suppressed, or sacrificed, to form a greater national identity in the peculiar case of Pakistan, the fact that he is sticking so fast to his Punjabi identity is more than just a tad confounding. Or shall we continue to grudge others, what we cherish for ourselves? If Pakistan needs to restructure itself into newer federating units to actually recognize its ethno-linguistic composition and work to take everybody along rather than drag them by their hands and feet, is it not about time? Our neighbor to the East massively redesigned its provincial compositions right after independence, and now we must grudgingly admit the vibrancy of their democracy. Why is the status quo the only thing not taboo to speak about in the Punjab? In the present-day, all smaller provinces, Balochistan being the most candid instance are complaining of a similar suppression of rights at varying levels. The federation seems to be coming apart at the seams for there are widespread insurgencies in at least two provinces. The seraiki question notwithstanding, are these signs of a strong and contented federation? The letter refers to the federation as if it were an alien force, a third party. It fails to include in its analysis that the federation, the federal government, springs from the provinces, and it has been delineated earlier in this piece, which part of the country has always had the controlling share in it.
A major problem with Pakistan has always been internal imperialism. Sindh and Balochistan have always lamented the exploitation of their natural and human resources. The ancient Seraiki civilization of the Upper Indus does not even have a platform to voice its grievances effectively; to postulate a fundamental moral and ethical principle that the first right to any river goes to its immediate drainage basin, its valley; likewise for all natural and mineral resources. The Upper Indus belongs to the Seraiki belt and to Sindh. It is between these two regions that the question of any dam-construction must be addressed. The far-off plains of Central Punjab have no right to the Indus, or to protest its loss. The drying up of the southern rivers of Sutlej, Ravi and Beas as a consequence of the Indus Water Treaty signed by the powers that were in1962 has already left the eastern half of the Seraiki belt on the verge of acute water shortage and complete desolation. Damming the Indus and creating a canal system out of it at Kalabagh solely for the benefit of northern Punjab will sound the death knell, not only for the lower Seraiki regions but also Sindh. Therefore, any such decision should rest with the immediate effectees, and nobody else.
The letter stops short of condemning the cause for a Seraiki province as sedition. It rails against imperialism and warns against conspiracies to break up the country on the basis of cultural and linguistic groupings. All cultural identities, except for the Punjabi identity, are presented as dangers to the existence of Pakistan with the full potential of becoming ‘permanent exploiters and blackmailers’. Of course, any new exploiters and blackmailers appearing on the scene would be a certain threat to the interests of the already established exploiters and blackmailers. It is interesting to note though that it contains within itself elements of cultural imperialism. It proposes that Punjabi be made the standard medium of instruction all across the Punjab, knowing full well that half the people of the province do not speak that language. Seraiki is written in the Sindhi script. It has more letters in its alphabet than Punjabi, which has the same script as Urdu. Spoken Seraiki has more sounds and syllables than either Urdu or Punjabi. Linguistic experts hold Seraiki and Punjabi to be distinct languages in their structure and form. Would not the imposition of a standardized form of Punjabi in the entire province of Punjab virtually kill an entire language, the development of which, like all other human languages, has taken millennia? Does not the death of language mean the death of culture? Do Punjabi and Seraiki both not already suffer enough out of the fact that they are not taught in schools at all? Such bigoted demagoguery and displays of cultural arrogance and imperialism, an instance of which is evidenced in this letter of September 9 will only serve to give fresher impetus to the cause for new provinces and greater provincial autonomy. Such is the arrogance which pushes even moderate people towards extremism. We need to respect, appreciate and find beauty in one another’s cultural differences, rather than aim to suppress, negate and eliminate them. Only when such an attitude of inclusiveness and acceptance is attained can we be sure of being safe against all the disasters that the letter has so ominously forewarned against.
Hasnain Haider Langah
Farmer
Shujatpur, Jalalpur Pirwala
Multan
Saturday, September 05, 2009
extra! extra!
are signs of pain and sorrow
the anguish is for all to see
and from it, some do borrow
but what of shriveled shameless eyes
and cheeks that have no traces?
and hearts that bleed but fail to make
trusty mirrors of their faces?
nothing!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
and it was all yellow!
Poor, long-suffering Michael Jackson kicked the bucket yesterday after 50 years of a life that changed color often, both in body and in spirit. Made me especially sad, his departing. I still remember my first ever exposure to western music was with the video of MJ’s ‘beat it’ back in the summer of ’88 in Okara. I watched it at my Mamu’s place with my cousins, and the machismo the moon-walking, break-dancing black singer was displaying in it had me completely bowled over. I asked for the tape to be rewound and replayed so many times, my older cousins finally got sick of me and deposited me with my mother for an afternoon siesta. But, at that time I mistook the ‘beat it’ in the song to be ‘peethay’, ‘peeth’ being the term used in my family for a child’s bottom. (With such an ass-centered beginning, doubt this post is going to be able to free itself from the yoke of the anus….blecch! this just keeps getting dirtier and dirtier). Anyway, I still remember asking ‘Mallo baji! Yeh peethay peethay kyun keh raha hai?!’. Still remember the laugh that went around the room. God it felt good to be funny as a child. And, another, closer in time Michael Jackson memory. It was my first year at college, a Monday morning, and an Uncle at whose place I had spent the weekend was to drop me off at my college. Now, as I was having breakfast while watching MTV, ‘In the closet’ started showing with Naomi Campbell’s sinuous figure gyrating all over the TV screen and MJ having the time of his life fooling around with her. Now, obviously, it caused a rumble in my underpants! And in the middle of all of that, Uncle came and said ‘lets go’. I managed a measly 'Ji!', while not budging an inch from the sofa I was planted on. He looked at me confused, then saw the TV and said smilingly ‘Ready when you are, Hasni Mian!’ That was one embarrassing moment. Yet, after that, I downloaded the video and now have every second of it burnt in my memory. So, MJ, you made for some good times. May your soul rest in peace!
On the personal front, I have been down with the sickness for more than a week now; a mild case of Hepatitis-A. The pupils of my eyes are dilated as if at some unseen horror, and seem to be floating around in two pools of yellow muck. And, as is the theme of this post, my ass-hole seems to have lost control over what it’s supposed to hold in, and at the most inopportune times, solid, liquid and gaseous emissions come gushing forth to strike the fear of God in my heart at even the tiniest commotion in my belly. An hour ago, my mother made me have three-fourths of a kilo of jaaman; jammu, in seraiki, for those like me more used to the desi name of it. Its fibrous insides are supposed to be very good for clearing one’s intestines of all sorts of filth. And I think its beginning to work. So, I better get going before I soil my shorts just sitting here. Wonder why I started this piece and why I am ending it?! Hope though, that this post is easier on your sensibilities than the previous one.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
love, disowned!
by her hand
greedily, lustily
and in between unapologetic quaffs
I prayed, ‘give me that,
which in your cellar abounds;
for if I taste a vintage rare,
tomorrow, my thirst
all the oases of this wilderness
shall quench, nor sate’.
and she,
in whispers,
cautious and carefree
diffident and bold
expectant and aloof,
spoke:
‘yesterday this day's madness did prepare;
tomorrow’s silence, triumph, or despair:
drink! for you not know whence you came, nor why:
drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.’1
by her fancy,
I drank.
when my rapture
I could not contain
I cried, ‘No more’,
And, meant it not.
she put her burning lips to my ear,
and poured in the nectar of an otherworldly allure:
‘blossoming verse underneath the bough,
a bowl of wine, some bread, and thou,
beside me singing in the wilderness,
oh, wilderness were paradise now!’2
on her shoulder, my stupor did rest
without a thought, a care or regret;
and when I woke
there was naught;
just the scorching sun
to mock my lot.
my face I held in my hands
and through baffled tears
I wondered,
could it be just a dream?
a mirage?
or some unearthly game?
treacherous trickery!
thence,
however, it must be told
to my approach runs dry
every oasis
in this barren
irredeemable
godforsaken
zone.
and I waste away,
thirsty, forlorn
sans that which by her hand
I drank.
--------------------------------------
1 Omar Khayyam. Ruba’i 74.
2 Omar Khayyam. Ruba’i 6.